Do you ever wonder what it feels like to be a celebrity?
Well, now is your chance to experience the glamour of being stalked by paparazzi without even leaving the safety of your own home, using my PROVEN METHOD!
What you need:
- Dogs, cats, and/or children
- A bathroom
- Ten minutes
- A book (optional)
- Grab your book (optional) and enter the bathroom, making sure that your dogs, cats, and/or children hear you close the door and (preferably) lock it.
- Wait. You will either see pet hair or a cat paw under the door within three minutes. If you have children, you will begin to hear plaintive cries of “Mommy…” in under two minutes.
- Don’t answer. Ignoring your subjects, much like ignoring ravenous paparazzi, will whip them into a frenzy in about five minutes.
- By the time you open the door after ten minutes, you will experience the full celebrity treatment. Knocks on the door, calls to get your attention, and attempts to invade your privacy will have occurred. You’ll feel like Lindsay Lohan!
- Rehab is optional.