Rebecca and I spoke recently about her being called cynical.
“Like it’s a BAD thing?” I asked incredulously.
Later, she sent a link to me. It’s for The Cynic’s Sanctuary. On this delightful (to a cynic’s eye) site, A cynic is defined as:
“an idealist whose rose-colored glasses have been removed, snapped in two and stomped into the ground, immediately improving his vision.”
Cynics, rejoice! There is a place for even you on the Internet.
A Cynic’s Soliloquy.
If you can take for the time that you can’t take any more,
And fool the fool with gusto, and lie for the joy of lying
But not just for the sake of lying;
And when it comes right down to “the truth”,
To never be too honest with the truth;
If you can destroy another man’s treasured beliefs,
Simply through the subtle use of dissention and dissimulation;
And deceive those who need deceiving
Solely with the use of the truth,
With guile and articulation;
If you can rip the very heart and soul out of an opponent
Using just “the verbal”;
But be magnanimous with friends, but not for nothing
Except for your own gain,
And use those closest to you for what they’re worth,
But no more, or no less;
If you can come to “the natives” with “words of iron”,
And a bit of slight of hand for your rivals,
And with swift ploys full of guile;
And fight the good fight with steely-eyed determination,
With a bit of pragmatic “how’s-your-father” on the quiet;
If you can grab your rivals by the balls on a matter of “true principle”,
And then go for the sheep-sheers
In an ecstatic moment of pure whimsy;
And then still find it all, after all, “tasty, very tasty,” while you’re at it;
Then yours is the Earth and everything “juicy” in it,
And – what’s more – you’ll be a man, you little bastard!